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                  %SHOULD OUGHT RESPONSIBILITY DUTY+790524
              %EXPECT CONFORM OBEY VALUE NEW CREATE 790524

     Many  people  become  dominated by an  atmosphere  of
"shoulds".   The atmosphere of responsibilities,   duties,
expectations,  conformity and other obligations becomes so
pervasive that it in invisible and yet oppressive.  People
may  become  so  accustomed to that atmosphere  that  they
panic   upon  encountering  a  situation  in  which   that
atmosphere  is at least partially absent---as a  passenger
at   high  altitude  in  an  airplane  which  loses  cabin
pressure.  Such people are disinclined to climb to heights
in  which mountain top experiences involve situations free
of "shoulds".   A  person whose life has been patterned by
values  defined by "should"  finds it difficult to respond
in  situations devoid of "should",  and so tends to  avoid
such situations.

     People who live in terms of "shoulds"  are  dominated
by responsibilities,  duties,  expectations,  conformists,
disciplinarians, legalists, etc.   They may be manipulated
by  the  generators of "shoulds".   They can not  see  the
implications  of  value systems and patterns  of  personal
relationships,   and so are not in any position to  decide
whether not not to obey the law of love, or the "shoulds".
They  reflexively  react in conformity to the  demands  of
externally  generated "shoulds".   Such conformists do not
contribute  creatively to the evolution of new  lifestyles
appropriate to new situations.  They avoid getting into or
creating situations for which there is not a complete  set
of "do and don't" commands.

     To escape from the prison of "shoulds" one must learn
the  law  of  love",   preferably by living  in  a  loving
community  which provides a fail-safe context in which  to
discover    personal   uniqueness,     potentials,     and
relationships.    As  exemplars provide  role  models---it
becomes  possible  to live in a different  way  then  that
prescribed by an oppressive atmosphere of "shoulds"  which
leave  no room for personal individuality,   non-conformal
behavior,  and ultimate respect for people's need to be in
dialogue with each other.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
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