This-essay is a7807042.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %RESPONSIBILITIES REPLACING DESIRES 780704 A child may be ready to go to a birthday party with a desire and expectation to have fun and enjoy the party. Then the parent may send the child off with an admonition that the child enjoy the party. The child may thus learn that when one goes to a party one has a responsibility to enjoy the party. The desire is replaced by a responsibility. The parent may also have admonished the child to tell the host that the party was enjoyable. This admonition underscores the responsibility to see the party as "enjoyable" (objective fact, not subjective experience) and to report that "fact" to the host. The natural desire to be subjectively open is replaced with a responsibility to tell white lies about "objective facts". The child learns to lose touch with genuine emotions, and to live in a conventional world of prescribed reflex actions. Automata! As a person tends towards a formal approach to love, desires are replaced by responsibilities. Whereas young people are motivated by desires, more formal older people are programmed by responsibilities. The actions which follow may appear quite similar. The 1st grader desires to learn about the world about her. As she leaves for school she is admonished to learn a great deal---as if she didn't have an insatiable instinctive curiosity. She accepts the hint that she doesn't want to learn, and starts to believe that she doesn't want to learn, yet has a great responsibility to learn without the benefit of her own curiosity. The child's curiosity and instinct to learn are killed in favor of the responsibility to learn---to get ahead in life. A young couple desires to develop an intimate relationship motivated by their instincts with integrity---because it is their life which is at stake. Society admonishes them to "be responsible"---as if society has more at stake in their decisions than they do. They learn that their desires for an intimate relationship with integrity are not as significant as their responsibility to conform to outdated social conceptions of what constitutes "responsible" behavior. The replaced desires are repressed. The responsibility to conform often generates conflict with the repressed desires. This conflict generates violence of one form or another. As it becomes more and more evident we wonder why our society is so violent. We might understand if we would only really get to know young people who are being forced to replace desires with responsibilities. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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