This-essay is a7805261.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %INTERRUPTING PUT-DOWNS 780526 In personal conversation we often find ourselves interrupting put-downs, but without fully recognizing the nature of the communications which occasion the interruptions. We use overt verbal communication, the explicit verbal statements of which may be rationally analyzed. We also use "between the lines" verbal communication, the implications of which are present in the explicit verbal statements. Then there are subtle communication which present by virtue of what is notably absent from our verbal communication; what we do not say verbally may say much more than what we DO NOT say---by virtue of absence. There are all the non-verbal communications which are present in our tone of voice, eye dialogue, facial expressions, posturing, body motion, etc. Our put-downs tend to occur in other than the overt verbal communication, and the grounds for many interruptions reside in such non-verbal put-downs. The usual explicit rules of conversation say that it is impolite for us to interrupt---but do not deal with the impropriety of engaging in non-verbal put-downs under the umbrella of a prohibition of written rules. Our interruptions may be occasioned by our unacknowledged non- verbal communication. Logical discourse about "not being allowed to finish my statement" ignore the fact that the non-verbal put-down was for all practical purposes completed. The break-down of our rational discourse cannot be mended without acknowledging the role played by our unacknowledged non-verbal communication. The disintegrative pattern of our interruptions may be ended---by each of us acknowledging the experienced content of both our verbal and non-verbal communications. Such acknowledgement will tend to undercut justification for needing to repeat messages, and will bring out into the open debilitating undercurrents. When the issues are out in the open we may be able to start to work together to solve the underlying problems which have generated our put-downs and our pattern of interruptions. Our mutual work on the mutual problems cannot start until there is mutual awareness and mutual understanding of what our mutual problems are. So long as our problems are assigned to the other person, it is impossible to begin to solve them. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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