This-essay is a7710222.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %MOURNING 771022 We mourn upon the departure of one we love---to acknowledge our sense of loss. Not to mourn honestly probably indicates we are experiencing no loss or that we are attempting to deny the loss we are experiencing. To admit that we are experiencing no loss is often not socially acceptable and the occasion for our excommunication. The fear of excommunication thus occasions our dishonest mourning according to introjected social conventions. Such mourning is an act which only conventionally acknowledges a death, even as it fails to come to terms with the mysteries of love in life and death. Our acting in such instances is often without power. The need to mourn dishonestly---confuses our need to mourn honestly. In rebellion at dishonest mourning we may seek to avoid mourning entirely, thinking that all mourning is dishonest. Thus social coercion to force us to mourn---may inhibit honest mourning which is essential to our well being. Such inhibitions of honest mourning may combine with our desire to deny our loss, and occasion the repression of the reality of our loss. We may fail to come to terms with reality, and attempt to lead a life which is out of tune with reality. Our affective lives may be lived in terms of a lie which will undermine our ability to be effectively honest. In honest mourning which we freely enter into---we honestly acknowledge our sense of loss and come to terms with the reality of our loss and all that the loss implies ---including our own finitude. A community of mourners helps us recognize our daily pretenses for denying our finitude---and brings us to our senses so we may more realistically cope with our human condition. Such is the case only if it is a loving community within which all may be honest, whether or not they have (or have not) experienced a genuine sense of loss. Compulsory mourning, no matter how subtly required, is destructive. Honest mourning is essential to real living. Those who are not free to mourn honestly, free to live honestly. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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