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%SUSPICION 770427
In the absence of trust, suspicion rules. When
suspicion rules it generates contexts which promote its
continued rule. Suspicious people create conditions which
they perceive as justifying their suspicions, yet they do
not see that their suspicions are self--fulfilling
prophesies--even as they prevent the fulfillment of the
false prophets who make the prophesies. Suspicion is a
poison that grows upon the emotional insecurity of people
who do not know others intimately. It is a defense
mechanism for the immature and builds walls between people
--- thus inhibiting maturation processes.
Suspicion is not based upon knowledge, but upon
ignorance. Suspicious people take advantage of their
ignorance to nurse doubts about other people --- doubts
which keep them from getting to know other people
intimately. Suspicion thus maintains the ignorance upon
which depends. Suspicion is not just suspended judgement,
it is negative in character and promotes negative
behavior. Suspicion is a way or life for many people. Such
people probably have never intimately known anybody whom
they could trust without qualification.
Suspicion is calmed by people who are willing to
accept the risks and hurts involved in being trustworthy.
Being trustworthy is different than being reliable. A
very untrustworthy person can be reliably untrustworthy,
consistently failing to keep confidences and consistently
being unloving. Reliability has to do with fulfilling
expectations --- of whatever nature. A trustworthy person
merits trust. Trust has to do with seeking other's
wholistic welfare as an accepted person apart from
preconditions. In self-defense we protect ourselves
against persons we suspect do not have our wholistic
welfare as an ultimate concern. Genuinely trustworthy
persons communicate with us in ways which transcend such
suspicions, and so elicit our trust. They help us suspect
our suspicions and give us solid ground upon which to
nurture the growth of trust. With them we begin to suspect
that there are better ways of coping than to constantly be
suspicious. This new kind of suspicion opens doors to more
intimate communications and all that such communications
make possible.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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