This-essay is a7702213.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %VIRGINITY 770221 People who greatly value virginity take very seriously technical distinctions between kinds of intimacy --- treating physical intimacy as being of greater importance than intellectual, psychological, or spiritual intimacy. In the domain of physical intimacy they treat genital union as of greater significance than other forms of expression of sexual affection and erotic passion which may occasion greater pleasure. Virginity is a technocratic conception designed to inhibit sexuality through the promotion of guilt and shame --- by defining premarital interc ourse as an ultimate act which is an ultimate sin. Real living involves greater ambiguity and respect for unique situations than technocrats are comfortable in permitting. In real living, decisions are motivated by agape, love, eros, and personal needs; rather than by a need to conform to expectations of any kind; be they ethical, moral, or legal. Treating physical intimacy as being of greater importance than intellectual, psychological, or spiritual intimacy; undermines personal integrity---by degrading the importance of intellectual, psychological, and spiritual sharing. By focusing an ultimate concern upon physiological relationships --- other kinds of relationships are declared to be of secondary importance. This is especially the case when intellectual, psychological, spiritual, and social relationships are sacrificed upon the altar of ultimate concern for virginity. The person who is excommunicated for engaging in premarital interc ourse is being told that physiological sexual relationships are a proper focus for ultimate concern ---by promoting sin in order to try to control sexual desires. Sin is the state of alienation. Those who greatly value virginity and are personally successful in maintaining their own virginity are inevitably tempted to a pride which alienates them from those who, by responding to the promptings of love, do not maintain their virginity. There is bound to be hypocrisy occasioned by the ambiguities of real human intimacies. Fairness in judgement cannot be assured without sacrifice of privacy which is essential to humane living. While not all behavior is helpful, the category "virgin" is not helpful in deciding which behavior is helpful --- and is often the focus on the occasion of alienation generated by pride, hypocrisy, shame, and guilt. God is Love, not law. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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