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%SILENCE 760421
Silence communicates. When an occasion calls for
communication, the absence of communication constitutes a
form of communication. This is true even when there is no
non-verbal communication. The parent that never talks
about anything having to do with human sexuality is
communicating significant messages to the child. The
citizen who never talks about the injustice of the war the
nation is involved in---is communicating significant
messages to associates. The citizen who never says
anything about the injustice of the judicial/penal
institutions---is communicating significant messages.
Silence can convey significant messages---even when the
silence is not consciously awkward.
Silence commonly communicates indifference.
Indifference is the opposite of love. Thus silence
communicates the opposite of love. Hate is not the
opposite of love. Hate involves significant
relationships, even intimate relationships. Hate is
perverted love; love in which physical affection is
replaced by psychological violence. The essence of love
and hate is found within significant relationships. Their
opposite is indifference in which there are no significant
relationships. Such indifference is communicated by
silence---when positive communications would be
appropriate.
Sometimes silence is concealed by tangential
responses. There is silence regarding what is appropriate
and instead superficial talk regarding what is not timely.
The superficial talk conceals the silence and avoids the
awkwardness of total silence. The significance of the non-
apparent silence remains the same. Tangential responses
can thus be used to violate another person secretly. If
the other person does not know of the violation---there is
no opportunity for self-defense. Thus tangential
responses are effective offensive weapons.
Silence can communicate trust and acceptance.
Sometimes talk is neither needed nor appropriate. At such
times silence can be a positive communication. Silence
then says, "I trust your acceptance of me and your
presence now so much---that I don't feel I need to keep
the air full of words." In such silence, there can flow
meaningful non-verbal communication which transcends human
understanding and remains forever a mystery.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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