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%GIVING ONESELF 760420
Giving oneself to another is not a rational act. It
is not done for a reason, to accomplish a goal, or to
fulfill an expectation. Such giving is not calculated, or
systematic. It is spontaneous at its best. It is self
fulfilling rather than self destructive. It sacrifices
selfish motives and techniques to the possibilities of a
mysterious new life. In giving self-possession ends---so
that self-fulfillment may begin. To offer oneself to
another is risky---because their is no guarantee of
acceptance or success. There may be great fear that the
offer will be declined, and deep hurt if it is
declined---with violence or indifference. Even if
declined with sympathy there is disappointment which
hurts.
Giving oneself is not the same as giving some of
one's possessions. It is not the same as partial self-
revelation, or sacrificial service. Giving oneself is a
spiritual act which involves mind, body, and soul. The
act is more than the sum of the identifiable parts. To
confuse it with one of its identifiable parts is foolish.
To confuse it with the sum of its identifiable parts is
misleading.
To know giving in a holistic way is to participate in
it. Giving may not be fully known in an exclusively
analytic way. The simple people may know giving more
readily than those who consider themselves as
knowledgeable.
Giving oneself is not destructive, wasteful, futile,
or coercive. It is unpresumptuous, unpretentious, and
joyful.
Those who fear their real self---cannot give
themselves, for they do not know themselves. That which is
not known cannot be given, although it can be buried and
kept where it will cause trouble. Such troubles will
cease only when the fear is removed and the fear of the
real self becomes un-called for. This occurs in the
emotionally fail-safe context of unconditional acceptance.
Such liberation does not occur in the emotionally
threatening context of legalistic controls designed to
promote proper conformity. It does not occur when great
importance is placed upon fulfilling expectations,
success, competition, progress, possessions, etc.
Those who become free to give themselves---in so
doing find themselves, and others because free to do
likewise.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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