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 %REJECTION FEAR EXCOMMUNICATION DISFELLOWSHIP EVIL 950806

     We  can be well beings and do well as human beings if
we shift our focus  FROM  promoting respect-for-rejections
and   fears-of-rejections    TO    promoting  respect-for-
openness-and-honesty  and being-comfortable-with-openness-
and honesty.

     Far too  often  we   FEAR   openness-and-honesty  and
being-comfortable-with-openness-and-honesty,  RATHER  THAN
fear respect-for-rejections and fears-of-rejections.

     In the above regards we need to reverse what we  fear
and  what  we respect---as a central part  of  repentance;
i.e., turning around.

     WHY  do we so often  FEAR   openness-and-honesty  and
being-comfortable-with-openness-and-honesty,  RATHER  THAN
fear respect-for-rejections and fears-of-rejections?   WHY
does our traditional pattern of fears seem so  reasonable?
It seems reasonable within the framework of our collusions
which demand that we systematically use dishonesty to hide
previous  dishonesty,  by making previous  behaviors  seem
respectable.  Our ultimate concern and command is to offer
to conceal our previous  mistakes,   errors, tragedies and
occasions of dishonesty.

     Since we must hide all our previous mistakes, errors,
tragedies   and   occasions   of   dishonesty---it   seems
reasonable  that  we should fear openness-and-honesty  and
being-comfortable-with-openness-and-honesty,  more than we
should fear respect-for-rejections and fears-of-rejection.

      Since  we  must  hide  all  our  previous  mistakes,
errors, tragedies and  occasions  of dishonesty---it seems
reasonable  that  we SHOULD NOT be concerned  with  either
personal  or communal integrity---which are undermined  by
dishonesty,   rejections,   alienations,    estrangements,
excommunications and disfellowshippings.   How else can we
maintain  a  sense of coherence in  our  confused  thought
processes in the light  of  the ultimate concern which has
been graciously given unto us by our dysfunctional parents
and guardians?   Do we  dare  to  question  what  has been
graciously  given  unto us by our  dysfunctional  parents,
guardians and alienative religious leaders?

                         (c) 1997 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Integrity and Honesty"
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)

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