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   %VIOLENCE INTIMACY OPEN HONEST RISK ATTACK ALIEN 941101

     There  is a great contrast between being forced to be
vulnerable   by  a  violent  enemy  and  being   willfully
vulnerable in the presence of an intimate friend with whom
one can be true to oneself in open and honest dialogue.

     There  is no  way  that one  person can force another
person to give the gift which is given  in being willfully
vulnerable  in  the honest presence of an intimate friend.
Violent   actions  which  force   vulnerability   generate
alienation,  not intimacy---no matter how close people may
be to each other physically.

     True intimacy cannot be forced.   True honesty cannot
be forced.   True friendship cannot be forced.   Intimacy,
honesty  and  friendship are not technical accomplishments
achieved by the following of  any particular set of  rules
and  regulations  which  specify  how  to achieve    them,
nor by any prescribed ritual. Salvation is not possible in
the absence of true intimacy,  honesty,  and friendship---
and so salvation  cannot  be achieved  by the following of
any  particular set of rules and regulations,  nor by  any
prescribed ritual.
                         (c) 1997 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Integrity and Honesty"
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)

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