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Sample ESSAY TEXT



     %RELATIONAL PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY RIGHT DUTY 970312

     In  intimate  personal  relationships  we  are  often
confused   about   what  decisions  should  be   made   by
individuals  and  what decisions should be  made  jointly.
Where do individual rights/duties/responsibilities end and
joint  rights/duties/responsibilities end---especially  in
the early phases of an evolving relationship?

     If   we  are  premature  in  assuming  that   certain
decisions should  be made jointly,  we may be  coercive in
saying  to the other that our relationships has reached  a
particular stage of maturity---when the other does not see
it that way; or feel that way about the relationship.

     If  we  drag  our  heels  in  agreeing  that  certain
decisions  should  be made jointly,  we may  be  fearfully
holding  back when we should let go of our  preoccupations
with  issues  of control.   We may be dishonest about  the
fact  that  our relationship has reached a high  level  of
maturity---on  some occasions which may seem convenient to
us;   after on other occasions we have acted in ways which
declare that our relationship has reached a high level  of
maturity.   Incoherent behavior will not lead to integrity
of the relationship or integrity of the participants  in a
relationship.
                         (c) 1997 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Integrity and Honesty"
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)

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