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%PERSONAL INTIMATE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS JUDGMENT 990823
Often human relationships entail reflexive, echo,
and back-and-forth patterns of responses/reactions:
1. Jack sees Jill for the first time, looks
intently, and smiles. Jill sees Jack for the first time
looking intently at her and smiling. Jill looks back
intently and smiles. They move towards each other to get
acquainted; etc. Their relationship is one of back and
forth reflexive responses to each other's responses.
2. John sees Jack and Jill becoming involved in an
intimate relationship. John has coveted Jill's attention;
but has not become involved with Jill. John is envious of
Jack and does not want Jack to "possess" Jill before John
himself has a chance to become involved. John moves in to
distract Jack. Jill resents John's moving into her and
Jack's personal space, and becomes resentful towards John.
All possibilities of Jill's becoming involved with John
are pretty much ended with John's interfering with the
developing relationship between Jack and Jill. The three
potential lovers end up in a tangled web because of their
complicated interactions with each other.
3. The possessive Puritanical parents of Jill see
what has begun to develop. They regard Jill as too young
and immature at 18 years old to become involved in any
intimate relationship. Jill is totally dependent upon her
parents financially, because her parents have not allowed
her to get a job yet --- because she is too young to be
out on her own. Her parents take her home to keep her
away from Jack. The pattern of interacting relationships
has become one level more complex.
4. Jill runs away from home to be with Jack. Jack
turns out to be non-supportive and addictive, and ends up
abusing Jill. Jill seeks police protection and Jack ends
up before the Judge who requires mandatory counseling.
Jill ends up back at home more angry with her parents and
dependent upon them. Jack resents mandatory counseling and
runs away and commits a crime. He is caught and ends up
in jail. The pattern of dysfunctional relationships has
become one more level more complex.
We cannot deal wisely with healthy and unhealthy
human relationships if we approach them in primarily in
terms of the individuals who are involved --- and rarely
if ever in terms of the natures and characteristics of the
relationships which involve and create the individuals.
Humans are the fruits of relationships; biologically,
psychologically, intellectually, spiritually, etc. It is
not helpful to ignore the fact that humans are the fruits
of relationships. It is not helpful to regard
relationships as incidental aspects of isolated persons
who interact with each other as billiard balls and/or
cannon balls.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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