This-essay is a9906041.htm which is available at the
web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom.
Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay
By-Months By-Years By-Words
Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One
==========================================================
%MANAGEMENT CONTROL INTIMATE COMMUNICATIONS HONEST+990604
%DIALOGUE BEING TRUE SELF OTHER INTEGRITY COMMUNAL+990604
%PERSONAL HEALTH WELLNESS DISEASE SICKNESS ILLNESS+990604
%CONFLICT COERCION CONTENTIOUS ISSUES PRIVACY SEX 990604
People who are preoccupied with issues of control
face a dilemma when they consider issues pertaining to
responsible private behavior, friendships, intimacy, and
sexuality. They find it embarrassing/impractical to
define any explicit and unambiguous boundaries between
clearly public behavior and clearly privileged private
behavior. They similarly find it impractical/embarrassing
to define any explicit and unambiguous boundaries
between only dreaming, thinking about, envisioning,
describing, and desiring various levels of intimacy
--- and the corresponding fulfillments thereof with one
or more other persons. Is honesty with one or more
other persons about dreaming, thinking, envisioning and
desiring intimacy to be forbidden? Under what
circumstances? How can one forbid that which is not
clearly described? How are controllers to avoid
embarrassment and/or impracticality in describing what is
forbidden? They are likely to discover that it is
contrary to the implicit rules of their collusions to
describe what is supposed to be recognized as being
forbidden.
Can people who are preoccupied with issues of
control --- support and defend peoples' constitutional
communication rights without reservation? Usually they
are silent about people's constitution communication
rights; because under the terms of the implicit rules of
their collusions --- it is taboo to encourage people to be
true to themselves and each other in open and honest
personal relationships --- for such openness and honesty
is bound to undermine the "integrity" of their collusions.
Their ultimate concern is to play their collusive games
with the appearance of personal and communal integrity.
Their idolatry is a very demanding form of idolatry ---
which requires constant vigilance, loyalty and dedication
to the unarticulated rules of the game.
People who are preoccupied with issues of control
cannot with integrity deal with how to help people to
become participants in healthy/integrative relationships
which are friendly, intimate, and/or sexual --- because
such relationships are not engendered, governed, or
controlled by external expectations; or by the
internalization of external expectations. Because of
their preoccupations controllers are not qualified to be
helpful --- and when they intrude into the private aspects
of people's lives and relationships --- their intrusion
is more likely to engender resentment, anger, and
rebellion; than appreciation, discipline, or
healthy/integrative relationships.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
==========================================================
Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use
in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates
of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99,
@ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count.
Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
Find the following links by clicking on CENTER when CENTER
near the top or bottom of a web page of essayz.com
1. Go to HOME PAGE of essayz.com
2. Find brief-essays via keywords
3. Find brief-essay about ADDICTION
4. Search-Helps related to ABOVE-LINK
5. GoTo Action & Information Center
6. Find Regular-Essays via Year/Month
7. Find Regular-Essays via Word-Starts
8. Find Regular-Essay about LOVE
This-essay is a9906041.htm which is available at the
web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines.
Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay
By-Months By-Years By-Words
Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One