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%TRANSCEND CONFLICTS CONTENTIOUS LEADERS COLLUSIONS+990602
%AVOID OVERT COERCION VIOLENCE CONTESTS CHALLENGES+990602
%PEACEMAKERS STRATEGY DESCRIPTIONS OPEN HONESTY 990602
It is rarely fruitful to engage in coercive
contests, conflicts and contentious exchanges with:
(1) people who specialize in such activities --- and who
rarely engage in much else. Using their tactics on them
bears the bitter fruits of defeat --- because their
tactics are self-defeating. Likewise it is rarely
fruitful to engage in overt contests, conflicts and
contentious exchanges with:
2. People who are preoccupied with issues of
control.
3. Leaders and participants in collusive games of
mutual self deception.
4. Arrogant people who self-righteously believe that
they are superior to others --- who are obviously inferior
to them.
5. Insecure people who fearfully seek to achieve
security through defensive technologies intended to make
them invulnerable; for they equate security with
invulnerability.
Coercive attacks upon people usually make those
people who are attacked more fearful, insecure,
defensive, offensive, dishonest, distrustful, etc.
Coercive attacks rarely resolve conflicts.
Helpful progress toward conflict resolution can be
made by transcending the disintegrative ways described
above --- by graciously describing better ways in which
people have transcended the alienative consequences of the
disintegrative ways described above. This may most
helpfully be done while avoiding direct attacks on
specific people. Those who are ready, willing and able
to perceive how dysfunctional such people are --- can
be helped by graceful descriptions of them without
naming them in any specific way. Such people are often
playing deadly collusive games of mutual self deception
--- and so are usually unable to recognize when
their behavior patterns are being described. People who
might otherwise fall into playing their deadly games may
be enlightened by gracious descriptions which transcend
the deadly games. Such enlightenment is not engendered
by overt attacks. Often the best that can be expected is
that the people who are playing deadly collusive games
of mutual self deception will die without their being
made more insecure, defensive, and offensive by overt
attacks upon them as dysfunctional persons.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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