This is http://www.essayz.com/a9810032.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PERSONAL COMMUNAL INTEGRITY INTIMATE RELATION SEX+981003 %MANAGEMENT PREOCCUPATION ISSUE CONTROL DISCIPLINE 981003 Personal and communal integrity depend profoundly upon the health of intimate personal relationships, including sexual relationships. People who are preoccupied with issues of ownership and control; e.g., as addicts and their codependent supporters; are prone to try to control intimate personal relationships --- in order to assure that all intimate relationships are healthy, so irregular relationships do not threaten personal and communal integrity within "their" community. "Controllers" are prone to feel, believe and think that they "own" the dilemmas which are associated with the dangers inherent in unhealthy intimate personal relationships; and so "controllers" feel that they have a "duty" to be in control of such relationships. Yet, they do not acknowledge that most attempts to "control" intimate personal relationships lead to both personal and communal disintegration; not to personal and communal integration. To enjoy both personal and communal integrity we need to transcend the simplistic patterns of attitudes, beliefs and thoughts of "controllers"---and be honest about the web of ways in which the health of intimate personal relationships depends upon the healthy exchange of gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable --- within open and honest intimate personal relationships. The nature of the focus of attention is paramount. If the nature of the focus of attention is misleading --- the outcome is bound to be tragic. Focusing upon issues of control will be misleading in virtually every case, because "controllers" will try to control appearances---rather than try to reveal the true nature of their "superior" inter-personal relationships. "Controllers" try to control people's perceptions of what is true. When "controllers" dominate the nature of intimate personal relationships --- personal and communal integrity are undermined by people getting dragged down into being preoccupied with issues of control. The focus shifts away from promoting healthy personal relationships---to issues of control: By whom? In what ways? To whose advantage? To whose disadvantage? Using what technologies? According to what ideals, values and principles? At whose cost? (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================