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          %META COLLUSIVE GAME RULES WIN LOSE 980803      
                                                                                                                               
     Many  people  play  contentious games  in  which  the               
contestants  take for granted that other contestants  will                
always  be contentious in reflexive ways which  echo  back     
and   forth   assumptions  which  keep  the   content   in                
contentious   ruts.    When they are in  those contentious                
ruts, contestants:                
                                                                                                                               
     1.  Make  affirmations primarily by how they  try  to                                               
tear  down each other's affirmations;  i.e.,  in  negative                   
ways ---  through denials, negations,  ridicule,  mockery,      
derision,     contradictions,    refusals,     rejections,                                                           
travesty,  farce,  parody, caricature, . . .                                                                                   
                                                                                                                               
     2.  Expect each other to respond in the  above   ways      
---   rather  than  in ways which  are more:  affirmative,      
positive,   constructive,   cooperative,    collaborative,                                                                     
synergistic,     favorable,      helpful,      beneficial,                                                                     
assenting, specific,  . . .                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                               
     3.  Accuse   each   other  of  having  responded   to                                  
constructive  efforts  in  various of the above  ways  ---      
rather than  looking for signals that  responses have been                                  
chosen  to help bring to an end the vicious cycles of  the                                                                     
above kinds of responses.                                  
                                                                                                                               
     4.  Deal  with  each other within  the  framework  of                             
motivations  which  are DOMINATED BY  FEAR;   rather  than                                                     
within the framework of motivations which are LIBERATED BY                             
LOVE.  "God is Love."                                           
                                                                                                                               
     5.  Are  compulsively preoccupied with who is,  or is                                                                     
likely  to be,  the LOSER ---  and who is, or is likely to                                                                     
be the WINNER;  and are highly critical of processes which              
do  not   satisfy   their  compulsive   preoccupations  in                                                                     
clear, unambiguous and non-paradoxical ways.      
                                                                                                                               
     6.  Are   compulsively  preoccupied  with  issues  of                                                                     
CONTROL, DOMINANCE, MANAGEMENT, POWER, DOMINION, COMMANDS,                                             
DISCIPLINE,  FORCE,  POSSESSION,   OWNERSHIP,   TECHNIQUE,                   
INJUNCTIONS,    PUNISHMENT,  REJECTION,   EXCOMMUNICATION,                                                                
COERCION, ORDERS, CORRECTION, DENIAL,  CONTRADICTION, etc.                                                           
                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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