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            %CONCEPTIONS RESPECTABLE BEHAVIOR 980410      
                                                                                                                               
     Our conceptions of what constitutes behavior which is                               
truly worthy of respect --- depend upon our various levels                                      
of ability to integrate  one  or  more  criteria  into our  
conceptions.     People who can work with no more than one                               
criterium  find  it difficult to avoid extremist kinds  of                                                                     
behaviors  ---   for they cannot balance off against  each                                                       
other various  complementary criteria,  and  often  regard                                 
complementary  criteria  as  being in conflict  with  each                                              
other; as mutually exclusive.                       
                                                                                                                               
     The  following  words are suggestive of some  of  the                                                                     
many   complementary  criteria  which  can  helpfully   be               
integrated into  conceptions of what constitutes  behavior  
which is truly worthy of respect:                                      
                                                                                                                               
HONESTY             INTEGRITY            RESPONSIVENESS                                  
                                                                                                                               
OPENNESS            MUTUALITY            RESPONSIBILITY                            
                                                                                                                               
COOPERATION         GRACIOUSNESS         GENEROSITY                                                                            
                                                                                                                               
INDEPENDENCE        INTERDEPENDENCE      AUTHORITY                      
                                                                                                                               
SOLO                TEAM-WORK            BONDED                                                                                
                                                                                                                               
DISCIPLINED         FAITHFUL             RELIABLE                                                                              
                                                                                                                               
FRIENDSHIP          INTIMACY             AFFECTION                     
                                                                                                                               
SHARING             GIVING               OFFERING                                                                              
                                                                                                                               
INVITING            INITIATIVE           RESPONSES                                  
                                                                                                                               
SEXUALITY           MEDIATION            PRAYER
                                                                                                                               
CONVERSATION        COMMUNICATION        DIALOGUE                                                                
                                                                                                                               
LISTENING           ARTICULATION         WRITING                                                                               
                                                                                                                               
TALKING             BODY-LANGUAGE        TOUCHING                                                                              
                                                                                                                               
FORMALITY           FORMALIZATION        EXPECTATIONS                                                                          
                                                                                                                               
NORMS               STANDARDS            FORMULAS                                                                              
                                                                                                                               
SYSTEMS             ANALYSIS             SPONTANEITY                                    
                                                                                                                               
PATIENCE            TENACITY             DEDICATION                                                                            
                                                                                                                               
CONVICTION          BELIEF               TRUST             
                                                                                                                               
     Few of us can integrate more than a two or three such                                                                   
criteria  into  helpful  conceptions  of  what  kinds   of  
behaviors truly merit our respect.    It is difficult  for                                      
us  to  work  together when we encounter others  who  have                                                               
combined criteria  in  ways which differ from how we  have      
combined criteria.    Such encounters call upon us to work                                                                     
with  more than just two or three criteria simultaneously.                                                                     
Such work is difficult ---  and often we become  impatient                                                                     
with each other.                                                               
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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