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 %RENEWAL RELATIONSHIPS RISK TRUST OWN CONTROL SELF+971221                   
 %OTHER WISE PRUDENT RULES PRESCRIPTION PROTEST SIN 971221                                                               
                                                                                                                               
     Insecure  people who are always on the defensive  are      
not  comfortable with forming new friendships and intimate                     
relationships   ---   for  they  cannot  control  personal                                                           
relationships;   and   new   personal   relationships  are                                                              
especially risky.   Insecure/defensive people seek ways to      
be in control of outcomes --- through analysis, prediction                                
and controls.                                                           
                                                                                                                               
     New   friendships  and  intimate  relationships   are                     
especially risky because there is so little sure knowledge                          
and information upon which to  base  analysis, predictions                                                                     
and controls.   Desires and motivations to become involved          
in  new friendships and intimate relationships need to  be                 
viewed prudently ---  to minimize risks and avoid  getting                                                                     
involved in ways which will not pay off appropriately.  It      
is  important  to  develop a careful plan  and  to  assess                                                                     
whether or not getting involved will be likely to pay  off                                                                     
in a way which will justify the risks entailed.      
                                                                                                                               
     In  the absence of clear policies and rules  designed                                                                     
to insure the proper development  of  new  friendships and                                                                     
proper  intimate relationships ---  it is a threat to  the                     
good  order  to  permit such developments.     Within  new                             
friendships    and   new   intimate   relationships    the                     
participants may come to  recognize  that  they  have been                           
playing  collusive  games  of mutual self-deception,   and 
become disloyal --- traitors to the collusive endeavors.                                                   
                                                                                                                               
     We  need  to  be careful that young  people  are  not                 
permitted to  become  involved  in  new  relationships and                                                              
activities which threaten our good order and our positions                                                            
of  respect,  power,  and privilege.   We must be on guard                                      
against   the   threats   of   developing   new   personal                                                                 
relationships.                                                              
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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