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  %UNBALANCED UNEXAMINED UNQUESTIONED UNARTICULATED+961103
     %UNSHARED UNTALKED FORBIDDEN HIDDEN HOLY TABOO+961103
   %UNTOUCHED ASSUMPTION ATTITUDE BELIEF CONVICTION+961103
   %RELATION PRESENCE REASON VALUE IDEAL PERCEPTION+961103
   %EXPERIENCE DESIRE DREAM FEAR VISION HOPE ASPIRE+961103
     %INTENTION PLAN EXPECTATION DEMAND REQUIREMENT 961103

     When  we are seeking to clarify how best to focus our
attention   to   transcend   dysfunctional   patterns   of
behaviors---it  is  helpful to look for what  is  missing,
lacking, absent, etc.  It may be helpful to consider pairs
of  words;   one word taken from the first list below  and
pare  it with a word taken from  the  second  list  below.
Together   they  may  often  suggest  something  which  is
missing,    upon  which  it  will  be  fruitful  to  focus
attention.

UNBALANCED         UNEXAMINED           UNQUESTIONED
UNARTICULATED      UNTALKED-ABOUT       UNSHARED
FORBIDDEN          HIDDEN               "SACRED"
"HOLY"             TABOO                UNTOUCHABLE
CONCEALED          TRADITIONAL          STANDARD
EXPECTED           FEARED               DESIRED
_________________________________________________________

ASSUMPTIONS        ATTITUDES            BELIEFS
CONVICTIONS        BEGINNINGS           RELATIONSHIPS
PRESENCE           CONCLUSIONS          MEANINGS
VALUES             IDEALS               PERCEPTIONS
DESIRES            DREAMS               FEARS
VISIONS            HOPES                ASPIRATIONS
INTENTIONS         PLANS                EXPECTATIONS
DEMANDS            PRINCIPLES           EXPERIENCES

     It is important for us to look from time to time  for
absent realities pointed to by word pairs chosen as above.
In the absence of such intentional looking for them we may
not  recognize  that  they  are  missing.     We  may  not
recognize  that we are lacking ---  because we do not make
such  periodic  searches  for what might be   missing   in
tragic ways.

     If  there   are  no  secure  role  models  who   have
demonstrated how to deal with what is absent---doing so in
mature integrative ways---it is difficult to deal with the
risks  of trying to deal with what powerful people may  be
embarrassed  by  and  uncomfortable  with.    It  may   be
forbidden to try to deal with the risks of revealing  what
is lacking.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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