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%RESPOND DISINTEGRATIVE ATTITUDE BELIEF IDEAL VALUE 961011

     How   can   we   best  respond   to   other  people's
disintegrative  attitudes,  beliefs,  ideals,  values  and
behaviors?


     If we respond with fear which blinds us and others---
we will compound the problems and dilemmas which we  fear;
making matters worse.

     If  we  fear  that  other  people's  behaviors   will
disintegrate   our  souls---we  thereby  empower  them  to
control  our  behaviors in disintegrative  ways.    By  so
empowering them we disintegrate our own souls.  The health
of our souls depends upon what we do, not upon what others
do.

     If  we focus our fear upon how others many manipulate
each  other's perceptions of our appearances---we  thereby
surrender   our   ability to be true to ourselves  and  to
each  other.    Our own disintegration flows from what  we
do; not from what others do to each other's perceptions of
us.


     If  we are preoccupied with appearances which can  be
manipulated by others---we have no time left to be true to
ourselves  and each other,  and so have not time  to  shed
revealing  lights  upon  the  nature  of  other   people's
manipulations of the truth.

     Other people's manipulations of the truth lose  their
power   when   we   shed  revealing   light   upon   their
disintegrative   natures.    In  such  light  manipulative
people's  impotence  is  revealed  and  our  fear  may  be
mitigated.

     We  should  fear  that our responses  to  what  other
people do will be disintegrative.  There is more danger in
the possibility that our responses will be disintegrative,
than in the possibility that other people's behaviors will
unilaterally rob us of our integrative powers.

     If  our  responses to other  people's  disintegrative
behaviors  diminish  our  own  abilities  to  be  true  to
ourselves   and  each other;   then we  have  done greater
damage to ourselves than they have.

     If   we   buy  other  people's  preoccupations   with
appearances---using  our  souls as payment---then we  have
nothing  left  with  which  to  deal  with  disintegrative
threats  to our personal and communal integrity.   We  are
likely then to be fools then who blame others  for our own
disintegration.

     Our   disintegrative  responses  to  other   people's
collusive behaviors are far more dangerous to us than  are
their behaviors apart from our responses.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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