This is http://www.essayz.com/a9604181.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %AFFIRM PREOCCUPATION ISSUES CONTROL EXCLUSIVE GOOD+960418 %PERSONAL COMMUNAL DISINTEGRATION LETTING GO RELAX 960418 If the only occasions in which our community and closest others affirm us pertain to our being preoccupied with issues of control---it is natural for us to learn to be preoccupied with issues of control to the exclusion of complementary concerns and issues. If we encounter embarrassment, consternation, fear, anxiety, anger, criticism, rejection and/or excom- munication when we fail to be preoccupied with issues of control---it is natural for us to learn to be preoccupied with issues of control to the exclusion of complementary concerns and issues. If we are never loved within the context of our having let go of preoccupations with issues of control--- it is natural to be calculative, defensive, manipulative, and preoccupied with issues of control. In each of the above cases preoccupations with issues of control lead to alienation, estrangement, ignorance, misinformation, confusion---and so to an inability to learn from mistakes made. Each of the above cases is an instance of the operation of a dysfunctional paradigm which leads to personal and communal disintegration. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================