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       %DYSFUNCTION ADDICTIVE CONTEXT SYMPTOM SHARE+951214
  %DIALOGUE FRIENDSHIP LIBERATE EXPERIENCE DESCRIBE+951214
      %INSIGHT THREAT PERCEPTION DEFENSIVE SECURITY+951214
      %VULNERABLE PLEASURE LOVE DOUBT CONFUSE TRUTH+951214
          %RESPECT ABUSE WORTHY GUILT SINS CHILDISH+951214
    %RELIGIOUS BELIEF GUILT INNOCENT ACCEPT CONTROL 951214

     We are  the  victims  of  a  dysfunctional  addictive
context whenever we:

     Want   to   share  with  others  how  wonderful   our
friendship is with a special friend ---  but feel that  we
dare  not  do so with anybody --- because others  will  be
critical of our wonderful friendship.

     Want to  share  with  others  a  wonderful,  new  and
liberating experience which means a lot to us --- but feel
that  we  dare not  do so with anybody ---  because others
will think less of us because of it.

     Want to share  with  others  a  liberating insight or
perception we have  enjoyed ---  but feel that we dare not
do so with anybody --- because  others  will be threatened
and become defensive.

     Want to share  with others some new  pleasure we have
experienced  ---   but feel that we dare not  do  so  with
anybody  because  others  will be  threatened  and  become
defensive.

     Want  to share with others the insight that something
we have always thought to be true is not true --- but feel
that we dare not  do  so  with anybody ---  because others
will not appreciate the insight, or  be  threatened by the
insight.

     Want  to discuss with others some matter about  which
we are in doubt or confused ---  but we feel that we  dare
not  do  so  with  anybody ---   because  others  will  be
threatened by our bringing the topic up.

     Have desires  for friendship,  intimacy and affection
with others --- but we feel that we dare not ever let them
know  of our desires because we fear that they will  think
we are strange.

     Have come  to recognize that certain respected people
are  in fact abusive and unworthy of our respect, and want
to share our insight with others --- but we dare not do so
with  anybody  ---  because we do not know anybody we  can
trust enough to share the insight.

     Feel that we must try to control or appear to control
things,  people,  processes or relationships which in fact
we cannot control.

     Are  not  acceptable  until  we  have  made ourselves
acceptable.

     Are guilty until we have proven that we are innocent.

     Have outgrown our childish religious beliefs and want
to  talk about having outgrown them with somebody ---  but
do not dare to do so because we do not know anybody we can
trust enough to talk with them about how we have grown up.

     Are constantly pretending  that  we believe,  desire,
perceive, feel,  think,  and hope in ways which conform to
our  sense of other people's expectations  of  us---rather
than  in  ways which are expressive of who we  really  and
truly are.

     Are not true  to ourselves or others because  of some
sense  of  duty,  necessity or obligation imposed upon  us
from outside of us.

     Do not take as good care of ourselves as we take care
of others.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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