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 %TRAGIC HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS ROOTED CONCEPTION VIEW+950317
 %ATTITUDE ASSUMPTION POSSIBLE TRANSACTION NEED SEX+950317
 %INTIMACY FIX DEFECT FAULT IMPERFECTION DESIRE SIN+950317
   %RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION SALVATION CHURCH DOCTRINE 950317

     Many   tragic  human  relationships  are  rooted   in
disintegrative conceptions of the nature of human:  needs,
gifts,  goods, offerings, services, contracts,  purchases,
properties, possessions, ownership, etc.

     Many  people  view  intimate human  relationships  as
being   similar   to  contractual  relationships   between
corporations:  exchange of goods are arranged on the basis
of mutually  agreed to considerations which usually entail
the exchange of money and/or services.

     In  intimate  human  relationships there is  often  a
sense  of a need having to do with a:   defect,   absence,
lack,  imperfection,   imbalance, desire, etc.  which must
be: corrected, fixed, adjusted,  satisfied, etc.

     In  tragic  relationships the focus is not  upon  the
quality of the personal relationship,  but upon the goods,
money, services, gifts, fixes, etc. which are exchanged.

     In  tragic  relationships  the focus  is  often  upon
individuals'    needs,    defects,     absences,    lacks,
imperfections,   gifts,   goods,    offerings,   services,
contracts,  purchases, properties, possessions, ownership,
etc.

     In tragic relationships it is often assumed that  the
key to a good relationship is finding the right person  to
supply the the needed goods, money, services, gifts, fixes
under favorable terms of exchange;  or the right person to
accept the goods,  money, services, gifts, fixes which one
has to offer and which one needs to have appreciated as  a
faithful codependent.

     In  integrative relationships the focus is upon  open
and  honest  dialogue through which the  participants  can
come  to  better know and understand each other  as  whole
persons---who are being true to themselves and each other.
The  assumptions  and convictions upon  which  integrative
relationships  are  founded are quite different  than  the
assumptions    and   convictions   upon    which    tragic
disintegrative relationships are founded.

     The   differences   between   the   two   kinds    of
relationships are not rooted  in technical  considerations
or in resource considerations.

     Tragic disintegrative relationships are not converted
into   healthy  integrative  relationships   through   the
addition  of  technologies  and/or  resources  which   are
initially lacking; no matter how much those  imprisoned in
the  relationships  may believe  that such additions would
"save"  them.  They have a misleading sense of what is the
essence of "salvations".    This is as true  of  religious
people, as it is of secular people.

     Most  religious institutions  offer  little  help to
people who are imprisoned by misleading conceptions of the
nature of salvation.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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