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      %INTEGRATIVE IDEALS VALUES LEAD PEOPLE EMBODY+950302
%CONFLICT RESOLUTION OPEN HONEST DIALOGUE QUESTIONS 950302

     Whether  or not a particular set of ideals and values
leads  people  to enjoy personal  and  communal  integrity
depends significantly upon how congruent the set of ideals
and  values  is with the persons/community which  embodies
them.

     The  young boy who has the temperament and hands of a
great  pianist and a father and mother who have  implanted
in  the young boy the ideals and values of a  professional
football  quarter-back---is an example of  an  incongruent
set of ideals and values.

     For  a  set  of ideals and values to lead  people  to
enjoy  both personal and communal integrity there must  be
openness  and  honesty about how congruent the ideals  and
values are with the minds,  bodies,  souls and spirits  of
all   the  people  who  are  involved;   individually  and
communally.

     Integration is usually an incremental process;   only
rarely   is  it  a  quantum  jump   process.     Congruent
integrative  ideals  and  values  facilitate   incremental
processes;    helping  people  move  continuously  through
appropriate stages of development and growth.

     Ideals  and  values which lead to both  personal  and
communal  integrity facilitate open and  honest  dialogue;
they   do   not  encourage   avoidable   misunderstanding,
ignorance, alienation, estrangement and/or conflict.

     Avoidable   conflicts,   estrangement,    alienation,
ignorance and misunderstanding may occur within individual
people---as  well  as between/among two  or  more  people.
Lack  of congruence may occur within people---as  well  as
between/among two or more people.

     When  we seek to evaluate how integrative our  ideals
and values are---we need  to  ask  questions regarding how
congruent they are within and among the people who  embody
them;   not  just abstract questions about the ideals  and
values as realities existing in some realm of ideal  forms
separated from human realities and experiences.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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