This is http://www.essayz.com/a9406291.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %RAPE CONSENT SEDUCTIVE DUTY SUBMIT AUTHORITY LAW+940629 %POWER CONTROL PARENT TEACHER PROFESSOR STUDENT+940629 %CHILD MINOR YOUTH ADOLESCENT ADULT INTIMACY SEX+940629 %HONESTY OPEN DIALOGUE PERSONAL COMMUNAL INTEGRITY 940629 People who have been traumatized by rape are often vulnerable to repeat encounters which resonate with the traumatizing rape; whether as immediate victim or as a secondary victim as a spectator or intimate associate of a more direct victim. When any person is raped many intimate associates of the rape victim are also victimized. Associates include parents, husband, wife, lover, children, house-mates, close friends, close relatives, etc. Rape is characterized by the absence of true and honest mutual consent on the part of the victim, and by indifference regarding that absence on the part of the perpetuator of the rape. The victim is vulnerable and relatively powerless. The perpetrator is seeking to exercise control in a display of power. The exercise of power may be displayed to friends of the perpetrator through macho talk about "points" "scored" in "lays". People who do not have the maturity/power to say no to unwelcomed sexual advances are especially vulnerable to rape, or seduction into dysfunctional "intimacy". Such vulnerability exists in relationships involving: 1. Age differences 2. Children with parents or guardians 3. Students with teachers or professors 4. Parishioners with ministers, preachers, priests 5. Clients with counselors 6. Employees with employers 7. Aids with political leaders 8. Economic disparities 9. Educational differences 10. Prisoners with guards Wherever there is an imbalance of power to manipulate and control, there is vulnerability and the risk of rape through force or seduction. Attempts to control and so to prevent rape through the exercise of power to protect the vulnerable do not address the root of the dilemma with regards to rape. Such attempts to control are not open and honest about the limited power which the most powerful people have to control the abuse of unbalanced power. Such attempts to control are not conceived and nurtured as ways to create secure contexts within which victims of rape can be safely vulnerable in open and honest intimate relationships which will promote healing. Such attempts to control often lead to the abuse of power which is rape of another kind. Legalistic definitions of what is and what is not rape within a dichotomous pattern of thought, will not promote healing; nor will adjudications within adversarial proceedings designed to assign blame/fault. Such proceedings may be essential parts of an overall communal response to rape; but they do not themselves promote healing, and often complicate the healing processes. Healing is promoted by the offering and acceptance of loving gifts of security known as the freedom to be safely vulnerable in intimate relationships within which participants can safely be true to self and others about their hurts, concerns, hopes, joys, aspirations, desires, regrets, etc. Responses to rape which forget what promotes healing are not likely to promote healing. The victims of rape are often the next generation of perpetuators of rape. The perpetrators of rape and the victims of the previous generation of rape. Thus true healing addresses the needs of the perpetrators of rape. If the needs of the perpetrators of rape are not dealt with openly and honestly, full healing will not occur. In the absence of reconciliation of victims and perpetrators the cycle will continue unhealed. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================