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%TOLERANCE DISHONEST CONFLICT COERCION VIOLENCE SIN+940627
%ADDICTION CODEPENDENCE COLLUSION CONTROL EVIL FAIL 940627

     Often tolerance is a virtue,  but not always.   It is
important to be able to recognize, name, describe and talk
about  the  difference between when tolerance is a virtue,
and when it is a perversion.

     Tolerance   of  human  differences   in   appearance,
language,  customs, culture, likes, dislikes,  desires and
many   other   attributes  is  often  a   virtue---if   it
contributes    to   personal   and   communal   integrity.
Differences  which  are not harmful,  coercive,   violent,
discriminatory,   or  unfair---are  usually  tolerable  in
healthy ways.

     Dishonesty,   deception,  collusions,  addictions and
codependent  support thereof are not tolerable  in healthy
ways.    The dilemma is how to respond  without  unhealthy
tolerance.     Not all forms of intolerance  are  healthy.
Tolerance is unhealthy when it is accorded to  dishonesty,
deception, collusions,  addictions and codependent support
thereof.    The  intolerance of people who  are dishonest,
deceptive,  collusive,  addictive or codependent is not  a
healthy form of intolerance.

     Tolerance  is  unhealthy when it becomes  part  of  a
pattern   of  tacit  support  of  dishonesty,   deception,
collusions,  addictions and codependent support.   Tacitly
honoring the rules of collusions through tolerance of them
is not healthy.    Quietly refusing to  be  deceived or be
dragged into the collusive patterns of thinking,   feeling
and approaching situations is healthy.   Quietly  speaking
the   truth  when  it  is  being  suppressed is   healthy.
Confrontations  do  not  need to  be  dramatic;   in  fact
dramatization of intolerance is often unhealthy.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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