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 %PERSON EMBARRASS TRUTH SELF OTHER COMMUNAL TERROR+940510
  %COMMUNAL COLLUSIVE ADDICTION CODEPENDENT SUPPORT+940510
%SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP INTIMATIONS POSSIBILITIES LOVE 940510

    It  is  difficult to bring out into the open light  of
daily   dialogue those truths   which   expose  one's  own
embarrassing mistakes,   failures and imperfections;   and
even more so  those truths which terrify one's own self by
exposing  the  deceptions  of  one's own  merely  apparent
integrity.

    It  is even more difficult to bring out into the  open
light  of  daily   dialogue  those  truths   which  expose
one's   own  chosen  community's  embarrassing   mistakes,
failures and imperfections;  and even more so those truths
which  terrify one's   own  chosen community as a whole by
exposing the deceptions of its merely apparent integrity.

    In  the light of the above truths it is terrifying  to
try to publicly recognize,  name,  describe and talk about
the ways  in  which people have been  involved  in  and/or
victimized   by   judgmental/disintegrative  reactions  to
integrative   naming   of  and  responding  to  some  most
mysterious   integrative/reflexive   experiences  in   the
presence of the Holy Sprite.

    We  are often taught to be in control;  but we find we
cannot  control the promptings of the Holy Spirit  calling
for  us  to  become  involved  in  intimate  relationships
prompted by Love.

    We  approach intimacy imperfectly as imperfect  people
who  are child-like in our ignorance and immaturity.    We
are   often  discouraged  by  how  our  most   integrative
experiences  are  named  in alienative/judgmental ways  by
people  who  fear the revelations which we  might  receive
therein.   We too often expect ourselves and each other to
jump from child-like   imperfection  in  our approaches to
intimacy,  to full  and  perfect maturity---without  going
through  any imperfect learning process.  In ignorance and
fear  of  the  truth---the  ignorance  of lack  of  sexual
experience  is  encouraged   as  a sign  of  freedom  from
evil  imperfections.  Imperfect sexual experiences are too
often regarded as  signs  of  evil; rather than as part of
the process of healthy growth.

    Naming  growth  experiences  in  alienative/judgmental
ways because of their imperfections leads  to personal and
communal  disintegration---not  to personal  and  communal
integrity.   Affirmations of and encouragements of healthy
growth  experiences in approaching intimacy with imperfect
integrity lead to personal and communal integrity.

    We need to recognize,  name, describe,  and talk about
the disintegrative consequences of traditional patterns of
judgmental naming of and responses to imperfect approaches
---in  the presence of the Holy Spirit---to truly intimate
relationships within which we may become truly free to  be
safely  vulnerable  in  being true to ourselves  and  each
other.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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