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%PLAY GAME HIDE SEEK CONCEAL SECRET INTIMATE DESIRE 940119

     Children often  take delight in playing the  game  of
hide  and  seek ---  a  game  of  concealment,    secrecy,
openness  and delight in discovery.   The stakes  are  not
obviously high in  the  children's game.   The stakes  are
much  higher  when  the  children  grow up  and  play  the
adult  games  which   of  hide  and  seek  ---   games  of
concealment,   deception,  secrecy,  misleading  behavior,
openness   in   intimacy  and  the  delight   in    mutual
discovery.    The  stakes become high if the  emphasis  is
compulsively upon hiding, secrecy, concealment, deception,
and  misleading  behavior;  for then systemic patterns  of
alienation,   estrangement  and  mutual  rejection   often
develop.   Then there is  only rarely delight in discovery
---   because personal discovery of each other's real self
is   often taboo and so rare.   This  is the pattern  when
people   are  playing  collusive  games of   mutual   self
deception, addiction and codependency.

     We will do well to be more aware of when our games of
hide and seek are dysfunctional, and when they are healthy
fun.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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