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  %INTENTION TENSION TENSE EXPECTATION ANTICIPATION+931115
  %EXCLUSIVE SELECTIVE PRETENTIOUS ARROGANT PRETEND+931115
   %REALITY IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH HONESTY BALANCE NARROW+931115
  %SICKNESS DISEASE HEALTH DOCTOR RECOVERY CONFLICT 931115

     Often  our  unrealistic intentions literally  put  us
under constant tension as we pretend to be and do what  is
really impossible for us to truly be and do.

     When  we focus our attention excessively narrowly and
exclusively   we often  place ourselves in tensions  which
keep  us so tense  as to undermine our health,  our  whole
well being, our being whole, our holy being ourselves, and
our being true to ourselves and each other.

     Our sicknesses and diseases are often related to  our
intense  defensive  concerns  which  keep  us  from  being
relaxed and at ease.   Our  attempts  to  achieve security
through our defensive efforts  are  pretentious and put us
under  constant  tension;   because it  is  impossible  to
achieve true security and relaxation which  can be enjoyed
only  as  the accepted gift of the freedom  to  be  safely
vulnerable.

     Often we try to achieve in a short time what can only
evolve  during  a lifetime.   In attempting to  appear  to
achieve in a short time what can only evolve during a life
time we become  dishonestly pretentious, and so  are under
constant  tension  as we try to make  our  pretensions  to
appear  not  to  be  pretentious.    Pretending  that  our
dishonesty  is  not  dishonest  puts  us  under  perpetual
tension, because we must constantly be ready to defend and
obscure the false appearances  which we try to maintain in
the  face of the many  truths  and  insights  which  might
undermine our false appearances.

     When we do not know how to resolve our conflicts with
each  other,   or  simply fail to work  on  resolving  our
conflicts with each other,  then we are in contention with
each other over our unresolved conflicts pertaining to our
conflicting:     assumptions,   presumptions,   attitudes,
beliefs,     convictions,    perceptions,     experiences,
expectations, intentions, ideals, goals, and values.

     When  we are more interested in prevailing,  winning,
overcoming,  domination,  management,  administration  and
control---than   we   are  interested  in  honest   mutual
understanding,  dialogue,  communication,  cooperation and
reconciliation---then  we  are  bound  to  be led  by  our
exclusive interests  into  endless  conflicts  which  give
perverse  meaning  to our contentious  and  disintegrative
lives.

     If we do not know how to take time to relax,  then we
are  bound  to fall into the abyss of  endless  contention
with  each  other  in our  exclusive  preoccupations  with
ideals and values that  put us into tension within endless
unresolved  conflicts and crises which serve  to make  our
lives perversely meaningful and exciting.   Our enthusiasm
for  such  excitement leads to the disintegration  of  our
selves  as  persons  and  to  the  disintegration  of  our
communities which  nourish  our being and changing  as  we
integrate or disintegrate how we are who we are.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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