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%PREOCCUPATION CONFORMITY LEAD VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP+931114
 %REBELLION ANGER REPRESSION CONTROL COLLUDE ADDICT+931114
      %MIRACLE ACHIEVE ESCAPE TRANSCEND PRISON TRAP 931114

     Preoccupation with conformity often leads people into
violent inter-personal relationships.

     People who are preoccupied with being in control have
conceptions of how things and people  should  behave,  be,
become, believe, change, etc.  They seek to get things and
people to conform to their conceptions of  how they should
behave, be, become, believe,  change, etc.  Such behaviors
are  characteristic  of   addicts   and  their codependent
supporters.

     People who are the victims of addicts and codependent
supporters of addicts are often in rebellion and anger are
preoccupied  with conformity;  seeking to avoid conformity
through  rebellion and anger.   Yet even in rebellion  and
anger the issue of conformity dominates their lives.  They
are  still  preoccupied with conformity and are  led  into
violent inter-personal relationships  through  their anger
and rebellion.

     Preoccupation with conformity often leads people into
violent    inter-personal   relationships---whether    the
preoccupation  focuses upon generating conformity or  upon
trying  to escape from conformity.   To transcend violence
we need to seek to transcend preoccupation with issues  of
conformity,  control,  submission and being victim.   Such
transcendence  is a miracle which we cannot plan,  design,
achieve, or control.   We do need to learn to be receptive
to the presence  of  its possibilities and to  be ready to
accept the miracle should it be fulfilled in our presence.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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