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   %ACKNOWLEDGE AFFIRM PLEASURE SATISFY MEANING JOY 931016

     People  who  are  always trying to be in  control  or
trying  to  appear to be in control find it impossible  to
affirm  and/or  acknowledge true pleasure,   satisfaction,
meaning  and  joy---because  such realities  are  not  the
fruits of, nor the means  to,  being  in  control.    True
pleasure, satisfaction,  meaning and joy tend to undermine
the collusive games of mutual self  deception of collusive
addicts and their supportive codependents.   Attempts  are
made to make pleasure,  satisfaction,  meaning and joy  be
servants of the  collusive paradigm;   used as rewards and
withheld until conformity is achieved.  Trying to use them
as  tools  of control generates frustration,   resentment,
anger  and desires for revenge which make being in control
even  less  possible than it was in the absence of  trying
coercion.  Then all that can be achieved is the appearance
of being in control through the systematic addictive   use
of collusive games of mutual self deception.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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