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%CONTROL CONSUMMATION PROJECT PLAN PURPOSE INTIMATE+931016
  %ADDICT MANAGE MANIPULATE COERCE VIOLENT CODEPEND 931016

     When  there is a good plan and purpose those who  are
dedicated   to  the  completion  of  the  plan   and   the
fulfillment of the purpose naturally want to be in control
of the  consummation of them.   As the  project approaches
completion those in charge want to be sure that the  final
details are  taken  care  of  according  to  their plan in
fulfillment of their purpose.

     The  above assumptions and attitudes lead to perverse
and  tragic consequences when they are carried  over  from
the  realm  of objective relationships into the  realm  of
reflexive  relationships  of personal intimacy.    In  the
latter   realm   the   assumptions   and   attitudes   are
characteristically  those  of addicts who do  violence  to
honesty,    persons   and  communal  integrity  in   their
determination   to  fix  themselves,   others  and   their
relationships. Their purposes and plans are fatally flawed
because they are  based  upon  false assumptions about the
nature  of healthy intimate relationships.   They feel and
think that the ways  which  work in  manipulating objects,
ideas, ideals, and quantitative relationships will work in
dealing  with  persons  who  at  the  physical  level  are
apparently  composed  only of  electrons,   protons,   and
neutrons combined  into atoms and molecules in cells which
are   combined   into  organs   and   organisms.     Their
reductionistic  paradigm does  not  have  room in  it  for
integrative   perceptions   pertaining  to   interpersonal
relationships and communities  as  whole  realities  which
transcend any reductionistic attempt  to find the whole in
the sum of its elementary parts.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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