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%ACCEPT RESPECT FORMS KINDS ADDICTION CODEPEND FAIL 931016

     There are many different kinds and forms of addiction
and codependence.  Our dilemma is that there are forms and
kinds    of   addiction   and   codependence   which   are
traditionally  respected and accepted as parts  of  normal
communal  life;   and we do not recognize  such  forms  as
threats to our personal and communal integrity.

     The  very  creative person who works  hard  for  long
hours and accomplishes a great deal is often respected and
encouraged in her or his efforts.  Such focused dedication
and effort is rarely regarded as a threat; yet it is often
but  one  manifestation  of  an  effort  by  an  addictive
personality  to fix a life which in the view of the addict
is  defective,  imperfect and unacceptable.   When such  a
life  is  unbalanced it does become a threat by  obscuring
the nature of addiction and codependence.

     The   person  who  is  a  very  effective  actor   in
portraying a variety of  personalities  on  the  stage  is
often respected for his or or ability to appear to be each
of many  different and contrasting persons.   Such a skill
is often not regarded as a threat even  when  the actor is
engaged in  unrecognized  daily  deceptions of friends and
family  during the course of ordinary  daily living.  Such
acting  skills  can undermine the integrity of daily  life
when  the skill is put to use in the service of  collusive
games of mutual  self  deception,    addictive patterns of
behavior and/or the codependent support thereof.

     The  effective  leaders  who know how to  get  people
enthusiastically involved in creative projects are usually
accorded high  levels of respect  and  admiration.    They
facilitate the getting done of much that needs to be  done
to build the community.  Our dilemma is  that  often  such
leaders  are   maniacs  (of  manic/depressive   diseases),
compulsively  creative addicts,  codependent supporters of
the former,  and/or compulsively dedicated to the  support
of a highly specialized paradigm which shows little or  no
respect  for  personal  and  communal  integrity.    Great
leadership skills are  often  dedicated to the advancement
of attitudes,  assumptions,  perceptions  and manners   of
thought  and deception  which  are characteristic  of  our
various  forms  of addiction,  codependence and  collusive
games of mutual self deception.

     The   religious  leaders  who  enable   a   religious
community  to  maintain its highly  respected  traditions,
religious  teachings,  rituals  and  patterns  of  regular
worship are usually respected and accepted  as  performing
an  important  service.   Yet such religious  leaders  are
often compulsive addicts who are engaged  in many forms of
coercive manipulation and  subtle control  which  engender
hidden rebellion,  resentment and violent responses on the
part of the more imaginative and creative members of their
religious  communities.     They  are more  interested  in
promoting   conformity  than  in  personal  and   communal
integrity;   for  they do not  recognize  the  differences
between  them.    Their forms and kinds of  addiction  are
rarely  regarded  as  threats  to  personal  and  communal
integrity.

     Each  time  that  some  of the  forms  and  kinds  of
addiction, codependence and collusive games of mutual self
deception  are respected and accepted because they  confer
some  temporary  advantage ---  the stage is  set  of  the
tragic   drama  of  full  scale  deception  and   communal
disintegration. We need to  recognize the subtle forms and
kinds  of addiction,  codependence and collusive games  of
mutual   self   deception  which  do  not  appear  to   be
threatening;  else we will  be unable to respond wisely to
the more  obvious threats  of  the  more  blatant forms of
addiction, dishonesty, corruption and abuse of power.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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