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 %EMBARRASS OWN SELF OTHER SEX DESIRE BEHAVIOR LOVE+930828
 %PARADIGM WORSHIP IDOL SACRIFICE INTEGRITY HONESTY 930828

     If  we  are  embarrassed by our  own  sexual desires,
thoughts  and behaviors---we are likely to be  embarrassed
by those of other people, and vice versa.

     If we cannot control our own sexual desires, thoughts
and  behaviors---we (in compensation) may seek  to control
the sexual desires,  thoughts and behaviors of others, and
vice versa.

     If  we  assume,   think and believe that it  is  very
important  to be in control in general---we are likely  to
try  to behave like military generals and exercise control
over sexual desires,  thoughts and behaviors;  our own and
those  of  others.    We are likely to assume,  think  and
believe that control of sexuality is good;  and a  failure
to  be  in  control of sexuality is evil;   and so such  a
failure is embarrassing.

     Our  belief in the goodness of control in general  is
often  related to our embarrassment over our inability  to
control  our  own (and other  people's)   sexual  desires,
thoughts,  and behaviors.    We may think that such sexual
realities should be dealt  with systematically,  decently,
in  order,   according  to proper plans;  in keeping  with
authoritative    rules,     regulations,     prohibitions,
injunctions, commandments,   and  judgements  made by good
people with power.  Our assumptions,  attitudes, feelings,
thoughts,  beliefs  and  convictions in these matters  may
lead   us  to  sacrifice  openness,   honesty,   dialogue,
conversations and integrity in the service of trying to be
in  control.   Our best judgements and  manipulations  are
very likely to be alienative rather than reconciling.   We
probably will not recognize the roots of our tragedies.

     If we are embarrassed by our sexual desires, thoughts
and behaviors we are probably trapped in a  disintegrative
paradigm.   We probably need to examine carefully the most
basic  assumptions,   attitudes,   beliefs,   convictions,
ideals,   values  and  goals which are taken  for  granted
within the context  of the paradigm---to see how they lead
to  both  personal and communal disintegration.   Then  we
need to ask if the  paradigm  is worth  such  personal and
communal disintegration.  Is our paradigm so godly that it
merits such  sacrifices  of integrity  upon  its alters of
worship?
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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