This is http://www.essayz.com/a9305232.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %MARTIN BUBER THOU INTIMATE RELATION AFFECTION SEX+930523 %COMMIT OBJECT BALANCE HONEST OPEN INTIMACY RELATE+930523 %REAL SPIRIT ATTITUDE BELIEF APPROACH OBJECT PERSON+930523 %COLLUSION ADDICTION CODEPENDENCE DISHONESTY SIN 930523 The realm of spirit and the realm of objects differ according to the spirit of our approach to each other person and to objects around us; with I-It or I-Thou attitudes and approaches. In Martin Buber's book published under the name "I and Thou", the nature of the realm of spiritual relationships and the nature of the realm of objective relationships are explored using the words "I-It" and "I- Thou"---in the original English translation from German made at the invitation of the author. A later translation made from German to English at the invitation of Martin Buber's son explores using the words "I-It" and "I-You", to emphasize that the realm of spiritual relationships is the realm of real every-day personal relationships; rather than some mysterious unfamiliar realm which most people never experience. The second translator had long contended that it was impossible to translate the poetry of the original German language with its many plays on word usages in the original German. He had been critical of the way in which the original translator made the effort. Then he was prevailed upon by Martin Buber's son after Martin Buber's death to do his own best job of attempting a translation which sought to transcend the limitations which he had articulated. Thus the second translation contains extensive notes about the nature of the difficulty of rendering an adequate translation, and so noted are many insights into the way we write and talk about the realm of spiritual realities and relationships in contrast to the realm of objective realities and relationships. The way we write and talk about the contrasting and complementary realms of spirituality and objectivity affects how we approach each other, and so affects the affection with which we approach, or do not approach, each other. If we emphasize objective relationships with a high level of exclusivity we distance ourselves from each other, to be more objective in our personal relationships. We then find it difficult to be intimate, because intimate relationships are not objective relationships, and we value objectivity exclusively. If we highly value objectivity we find it difficult to value/respect intimate relationships which are reflexive, rather than objective. The realm of spiritual personal relationships is: A reflexive realm with many ambiguities. Full of fuzzy boundaries which become more fuzzy the more we closely examine them---as is the case with fractals. Full of shifting and growing realities whose existences and natures depend upon how we approach them; with what attitudes, expectations, intentions, emotions, language, concepts, etc. Characterized by realities and relationships which create the participants, as well as participants who create realities through their participation in them. Characterized by openness and honesty about the relationships which create the participants, and about the participants who create the relationships. In the absence of reflexive openness and honesty meaningful spiritual relationships are not possible. Participants in collusions, addictions and patterns of codependent support are people who do not know are not familiar with true spiritual relationships. They are impoverished, poor, because they systematically avoid true spiritual relationships within which their dishonesty, deception, and misleading patterns of behavior would be discovered, exposed, revealed and otherwise undermined. Their illusions of having the power to control would be destroyed, and they greatly love their illusions of the power to control themselves and other people. Spiritual realities do not have to do with the power to control ourselves or other people. The focus of attention in true spiritual relationships is not upon the power to control: Who has power to control? Who does not have the power to control? To whose advantage is control exercised? How is control exercised? For what purpose is control maintained? Such questions are not central in true spiritual relationships. Being preoccupied with such questions makes it impossible to enter into true spiritual relationships. To become able to enter into true spiritual relationships we must let go of preoccupations with such questions and attitudes. With them we cannot approach each other reflexively, openly and honestly; and so cannot enter into true spiritual relationships. We may avoid entering into true spiritual relationships by defining them to be something unreal about which we can never know anything. Such a definition can serve as an excuse for our being unwilling to let go of our preoccupations with questions and attitudes which revolve around issues of being in control. Such a definition is an echo of our impoverished experience in dysfunctional families of origin wherein there was a lack of openness and honesty about our own imperfect personal relationships, experiences, feelings, thought, perceptions, emotions, insights, etc. We cannot grow and truly be ourselves, whole and healthy, so long as we cling to limiting conceptions of spirituality. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================