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    %THINK THREAT CONFLICT DEFENSIVE COOPERATE LOVE 930514

     If fear of abandonment,  rejection,  excommunication,
ridicule  and  their  like  leads  us  to  be   ultimately
concerned  with  not  violating  taboos,   collusions  and
addictive restrictions, then we are unlikely to:

     1.  Be creative.
     2.  Be open and honest.
     3.  Enter into healthy intimate relationships.
     4.  Be cooperative in resolving conflicts.
     5.  Let go of our being defensive.
     6.  Be spontaneous in non-calculating ways.
     7.  Be responsive and engaging.
     8.  Be truly friendly.
     9.  Enter       into       I-Thou      relationships.
    10.  See personal and communal integrity as such.

     Threats of abandonment,  rejection,  excommunication,
ridicule  and  their  like  lead  to  fears and idolatrous
ultimate   concerns  which  undermine  both  personal  and
communal  integrity.   Such  threats are  themselves  evil
behaviors and they lead to additional evil relationships.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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