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%JUDGE LEGAL CONTEXT COMMUNITY INADEQUATE FAIL LOVE 921228

     Each  time  that a person is  alienated  through  the
judgments of a legalistic  community;  there is a judgment
of  the inadequacy of the legalistic  community,  just  as
much  as  a  judgment  of  the  inadequacy   of  the  non-
conformist. A perfect legalistic system would work so well
that  all  people within the  legalistic  community  would
conform to its dictates.  Imperfections can reside just as
much  within the system,  within the context,   as  within
individuals.

     When people fail to conform to the expectations of  a
community,   the assessment should focus just as much upon
the  expectations,  as upon the non-conformist.   Conflict
resolution will not occur so long as attention is  focused
just  upon the non-conformist,  or just upon the  context.
The conflicts involve conflicts between the values and and
ideals  of the community on the one hand,  and of the non-
conformists   on  the  other  hand.   Real  people  within
communities demonstrate variability in ideals and  values.
No  real  people conform fully to the hypothetical  ideals
and values of the community as a whole.  All people are to
some degree non-conformists. Conflicts between real people
and the hypothetical ideals and values of their community,
are  not  resolved  by  passing  judgment  upon  the  non-
conformists;  as  if  the failure were  their fault alone.
Real  conflict  resolution  will  be  possible  only  when
members of a community are willing to consider the ways in
which the community shares responsibility for the failures
of  members  of  the community  to  fulfill  the  communal
expectations.   Perhaps the expectations were unrealistic,
coercive,      invasive,     manipulative,      dishonest,
disintegrative,  addictive, etc.  Real conflict resolution
is  not a win-lose proposition for the participants in the
conflicts.    Real  conflict  resolution  is   a   win-win
proposition  in  which  all people are GETTING TO  YES  by
GETTING TOGETHER in cooperative open and honest dialogue.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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