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%REALM BEING CONSCIOUS RELATE CONNECT INTEGRITY SEX 920902

     The  stories  of our lives include many occasions  of
trying  to  return  to a former state or  realm  of  being
conscious   of   participation   and   satisfaction   with
wholeness,   health and integrity.  We sense that we  have
fallen  from  a former state or realm of being;  and  seek
some form of: recovery, return, re-visitation, revelation,
reception,  repossession,  regaining,  retrieval, renewal,
recuperation,  renaissance,  restoration,  resumption, re-
enstatement, resurgence, revival, rebirth, revivification,
rekindling,  resurrection, reanimation, resuscitation,  or
revitalization.   The rich collection of re-words suggests
the importance of the theme.

     There   are   many  realms  of  being   conscious  of
participation and satisfaction with wholeness,  health and
integrity;  and many ways of losing that which  we  value.
The  stories of our lives deal with our efforts to  regain
what   we  feel  we  lost  in  our  infancy,    childhood,
adolescence,  or adult lives of disintegration.  It is not
easy  to identify what it is we lost,  for we do not  have
it; but we sense we do not have it.

     In our efforts to fix ourselves and/or others because
of  our loss---we become fixated upon fixations  which  do
not fix;  and become  addicted  and/or  codependent in our
fixations. In our efforts to regain what we have lost, and
to  control  our  having  of  it---we  move  further  from
enjoying  it.  We cannot receive it because we  refuse  to
accept it on its own terms.  We cannot recover and control
what we  have lost, because we and others  clutched it  in
efforts to  control  it.   The  futility  of  our  efforts
outlines the stories of our lives.

     It  is  difficult for us to  discover/create  healthy
ways  of  participation---of being whole parts  of  larger
wholes.   We  too  often  want to  be  the  the  whole  by
ourselves, and in our desire to be  the whole  we lose the
healthy wholeness which we seek to control. Our efforts to
be in control of our pleasures, satisfactions, enjoyments,
fulfillments,  and meaningful relationships---occasion our
losses of them. Having lost them, we seek to recover  them
in the same way we  lost  them;  and are frustrated in our
failures  to  succeed  in  the manner  which  we  seek  to
succeed;   because  we  do not Search  for  Integrity  and
Honesty  in  Being Ourselves,  Whole  and  Healthy  within
healthy communities of integrity and balance.  In  seeking
to  find the one reality which is  most important and  the
key to  all that is worth enjoying,  we lose sight of  the
many   differing  realities  which  are  ALL ESSENTIAL  to
personal and communal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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