This is http://www.essayz.com/a9202021.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %COLLUDE TABOO BLOCK WAY DOUBLE BIND KNOW PLEASE 920202 Collusive taboos block the way to our knowing ourselves and each other; through double binds of multiple injunctions which appear to be good and respectable when considered one by one. We cannot have the pleasure of intimately knowing ourselves or each other; without having the security which is required to set us free to be vulnerable in intimate relationships. Such security and freedom have to do with the transcendence of disintegrative collusive taboos. We give to ourselves and to each other the freedoms which are central to true security; doing so when we refuse to employ dishonesty in the enforcement of disintegrative collusive taboos. Coercive manipulative dishonesty is disintegrative, and does not merit respect; not even in the service of protecting highly respected, traditional, disintegrative and collusive taboos. We can share the pleasures of intimately knowing ourselves and each other; but only as we learn to transcend the service of protecting highly respected, traditional, disintegrative and collusive taboos. In doing so we will develop new languages, vocabularies and ways of sharing our intimate knowledge of ourselves and each other; in violation of traditional, highly respected, disintegrative and collusive taboos. Traditional, highly respected, disintegrative taboos are respected in the service collusive games of mutual self deception; in order to hide the dishonesty of those deceptive games. In the face of such dishonesty we cannot have the pleasures which we might have and share in intimately knowing ourselves and each other in intimate dialogue, conversations and connections. The dishonest games are played in the name of stability, maintaining the status quo, protecting traditions, avoiding painful revolutions, being good, avoiding evil: all under the guise of providing security. The effects of the games are the opposite. They generate defensive insecurity. True security is the freedom to be vulnerable in intimate relationships in which we have the pleasure of truly knowing each other in mutually balanced ways. True security is not achieved through defensive measures of any form; and especially not through dishonest defensive measures. Dishonesty kills security. Dishonesty kills security by undermining trust. It is very risky to trust dishonest people. We cannot honestly trust dishonest people. We cannot trust ourselves when we are dishonest. We cannot honestly trust each other when we are dishonest. We are participants in collusive games of mutual self deception if we trust ourselves and each other when we are being dishonest. To regain our integrity we must stop playing those dishonest games. To do so we must transcend our disintegrative and collusive taboos. We must transcend their double binds of alienative injunctions which appear to be good and respectable when considered one by one. To do so we need to seek the pleasures of intimately knowing ourselves and each other; within the security which sets us free to be vulnerable in intimate relationships. We need to give the gift of such true security to each other in order to promote personal and communal integrity. This all makes no sense in the light of our collusive games of mutual self deception. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================