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  %AFFIRM RECIPROCAL GOOD FEEL WAY CONFORM BEHAVIOR 911110

     The   way  to  true  intimacy  involves  affirmations
of   reciprocal     good   feelings;     not   lists    of
legalistic     prohibitions,         do's,         dont's,
injunctions,    laws, regulations, judgements, rejections,
and other alienative behaviors.

     The way  to true intimacy involves  consideration  of
what   is  essential   to   both  personal  and   communal
integrity;    not preoccupations with selfish desires,  or
preoccupation   with  communal  regulations   to   control
dangerous selfish desires.

     The   way  to  true  intimacy  involves  being  truly
vulnerable  with   each  other with whom one seeks  to  be
intimate;     it  does  not   involve   seeking   security
through   defensive invulnerability.

     The way  to  true intimacy is not the  mastery  of  a
system  of skills and technologies;  but rather a  way  of
being  true to  self  and others in personal relationships
which  are  open,  spontaneously responsive,   honest  and
unique.

     The way to  true  intimacy is not  a  standard way in
keeping with standard conformal rules and regulations; but
instead  is   appropriate to the unique potentials of  the
travelers  on  each way to intimacy within  each  intimate
relationship.

     Perfection   in  intimacy cannot be measured in terms
of  a standard model;   but rather is known in the eternal
now of  I-Thou relationships which are immediate,   direct
and real: and  in  which participants are honestly present
to  each other as unique creatures.

     The  way to true intimacy is not under the control of
any person or community;  but rather is conceived and made
real by  individuals who truly seek to know each other  as
they  are  really being true to themselves and each  other
who is willing to be true to themselves.

     True intimacy  is  not a status/reward which  will be
given to us  in  heaven on some future occasion,   because
of  our systematic conformity  here on planet earth;   but
rather  is a way of being truly present to each  other  in
mind,   body, soul  and  spirit in the eternal now of real
daily  living here and now on planet earth.

     Confusion  regarding  the  nature  and  way  of  true
intimacy often  stands in the way of true intimacy,    and
prevents  true  intimacy.  The way of true  intimacy  thus
often  entails  honestly clarifying the nature and way  of
true intimacy.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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