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        %PERFECT PERSON LAW MORAL CONFORM INTEGRITY 911028

     Our   choice  of  what  to  focus  upon  as  we  seek
perfection makes a great deal of difference.

     It is dangerous to try to perfect:   persons,   laws,
moral codes, standards of propriety/acceptability, grounds
for excommunication,  religious doctrines,  etc.  When  we
seek  perfection  in  such instances we are prone  to  pay
great prices in personal and communal integrity; for there
is much alienation generated in seeking such perfection.

     We    may   reasonably   seek   to   create   perfect
relationships,   but  trip in how we define perfection  in
relationships.  We disintegrate if we define perfection in
relationships   in  ways  which  lead  to   manipulations,
preoccupations with control,  judgmentalism,  intolerance,
conformity,        punishments/rewards,        rejections,
exclusivities,   etc.   When  we seek perfection  in  such
instances we are prone to pay great prices in personal and
communal integrity; for there is much alienation generated
in seeking such perfection.

     It  makes a great deal of difference whether we  seek
perfection  or  reasonable  improvements relative  to  the
present situation.

     We  need to be open and honest about our limitations;
for if we are not, we are bound to develop collusive games
of  mutual self deception according to which we  are  more
perfect than we really are.  If we are not open and honest
about  our  limitations,   we cannot reasonably  seek  the
possible kinds of perfection.  We in our collusions define
perfection in misleading ways and follow the ways in which
those definitions lead us.

     How   we regard the present state of imperfection  in
comparison to our envisioned perfection makes a great deal
o difference.

     We  are in deep trouble if we regard imperfections as
grounds  for  rejection,  excommunication,  and  exclusive
behaviors;   for then there remain no grounds for personal
and communal integrity.

     We  will  do  well  to  seek  personal  and  communal
integrity with our whole beings.  There is are few hazards
in seeking to perfect our skills in:  conflict resolution,
listening,  dialogue, effective communication,  discussion
leadership,      conversation,     cooperation,     mutual
understanding and other aspects of building both  personal
and communal integrity.  In seeking to improve such skills
destructive  competition  is much less likely  to  develop
than in seeking other kinds of perfection.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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