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 %FEED BACK LOOP GROW MISTAKE HONEST APOLOGIZE FAIL 911030

     Every person is bound to make little and big original
mistakes. Original mistakes are not our primary problem.

     Our  primary  problem  is the mistake  of  not  being
honest about our original mistakes, and making the mistake
of  pretending  that our original mistakes have  NOT  been
made.   If are not honest about having made  our  original
mistakes  we cannot apologize to the people who were  hurt
by our original mistake.  The mistake of not being  honest
about  our original mistakes and not apologizing leads  to
alienation  and to the breakdown of personal and  communal
integrity.

     Making original mistakes does not necessarily lead to
disintegration. Making the perpetual mistake of failing to
be honest about original mistakes, and perpetually failing
to  apologize  for  the hurt  inflicted  by  our  original
mistakes; does of necessity lead to disintegration.

     If our pattern of failing to be honest about original
mistakes  and  failing to apologize becomes  a  systematic
pattern of dishonest games of mutual self deception;  then
a  communal systemic mistake has been made.  Engaging in a
system of communal systemic mistakes is the disintegrative
process of addictions,  codependencies and collusive games
of  mutual  self  deception.   Such  mistakes  are   often
systematized  and  treated as being worthy  of  reasonable
respect.     Systematized    dishonesty    often     makes
disintegration  look healthy,  attractive,  and  enviable;
worth any price, including the price of all life, meaning,
and significance.

     Our  biggest mistake is the mistake we make in  being
systematically  dishonest about our little mistakes.   Any
systematic   pattern  of  dishonesty  tends  to  make   it
difficult  for us to be honest about our original mistakes
and  so  leads  us  to  further  systematic  patterns   of
dishonesty;  and thus to exponential growth of dishonesty,
confusion, disorder, and chaos.

     Any  time  that  there is a positive feed  back  loop
which  causes some condition or quantity to augment itself
there   is  exponential  growth.   Systematic   dishonesty
generates a positive feed back loop by which dishonesty is
systematically augmented;  leading to confusion, disorder,
chaos and both personal and communal disintegration.

     Being honest in the face of dishonesty can generate a
positive  feed  back  loop which promotes  the  growth  of
honesty and of personal and communal integrity. To survive
with integrity honest people need to be prudently  honest,
not  brutally  honest.  Honesty can be  used  brutally  in
violent  ways.   Being brutally honest  does  not  promote
honesty  or  integrity;  nor survival  of  honest  people.
People  of integrity are charitably honest,  not  brutally
honest.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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