This is http://www.essayz.com/a9108272.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
     %IMPOSE COERCE DISHONEST CAST ROLE PLAY ACCEPT 910827

     It does us  no good  to  impose/accept dishonest role
playing in everyday life.  It is one thing for actors on a
dramatic stage  in  a  theater  to  act  out  parts  which
do  not correspond  to their true selves.   It is quite  a
different  thing for people in their everyday lives to act
out   parts  which   do   not  correspond  to  their  true
selves.   In  the theater the acting may be revealing;  in
everyday life the acting is deceiving and concealing.

     We often dishonestly  act out roles which are imposed
upon us  by others who are uncomfortable with us being our
true selves;    or maybe we impose dishonest roles to play
upon  ourselves  because one part of us  is  uncomfortable
with us playing our true selves with open honesty.

     We  act  dishonest   roles  in   efforts  to  achieve
acceptability from  people  who are uncomfortable with our
true  selves;  because they are participants in  collusive
games   of  mutual  self   deception  as  addicts   and/or
supportive codependents. Such  people are uncomfortable in
the  presence  of  others who  are being open and  honest;
for  their  own   dishonesty  may  be  exposed  and  their
paradigm profoundly challenged.

     True   acceptability cannot be achieved.   People who
do  not  accept  us as our true selves  tacitly  offer  to
accept us if we  will  but act out the dishonest role into
which   they wish to cast us.  They insist on  maintaining
control  of the casting,    and  will insist on being free
to recast us  to  satisfy  their shifting needs to protect
their   collusive  games of mutual self  deception.   They
cannot be relied upon to   accept  us  if  we  meet  their
initial  terms   for acceptability.

     Contracts   for   gaining   acceptability  cannot  be
enforced;  for  the  person  who  refused  to  accept  you
for   your achievement of   required  conditions,     will
not   accept you   upon challenging    their    rejection.
We    cannot achieve  acceptability  in the eyes of people
who  tacitly offer   to accept  us if we will but act  out
the  series  of dishonest  roles into which they  wish  to
cast us.    In the end all  we can rely upon, is that they
are likely to cast us out.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================