This is http://www.essayz.com/a9108252.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TRULY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS SHARE SHAME GUILT 910825 In unhealthy manipulative relationships participants use shame and guilt as tools to coercively manipulate each other; seeking to control each other. In unhealthy manipulative communities such uses of shame and guilt are respected and regarded as normal. Members of such communities are usually defensive and often resort to violence. In truly healthy integrative relationships participants openly and honestly share their shame and guilt as a way of transcending them. In healthy integrative communities such open and honest sharing is normal, because the communities provide the gift of true security which makes it safe to be vulnerable in such sharing. Members of such communities are rarely defensive and rarely resort to violence. The differences between people, relationships and communities are rooted in their reflexive perceptions, attitudes, and ways of approaching each other. Such differences cannot be understood or modified through scientific procedures which avoid reflexive considerations due to a compulsive concern with being objective and detached from the objects of consideration. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================