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    %STEPS CONFLICT RESOLUTION DIFFER AFFIRM PEOPLE 910630

     Here   are  some  steps we will do well  to  take  to
create   a  context  within  which there may be some  hope
that  people who  differ  from us greatly will  take   our
affirmations seriously:

     1.  We   need   to take time and make the  effort  to
get   to  know   others by listening  seriously  to  their
affirmations which differ greatly from our affirmations.

     2.  We  need  to work on understanding the  apparent,
overt, covert  and  tacit  conflicts which may  and/or  do
exist between    that   they   affirm/believe   and   what
we  affirm/believe;     and  work earnestly on   resolving
those conflicts to the best of our abilities.

     3.  We  need  to  work  so that we can  be  true   to
our  transcendent   ideals  and values  (perhaps  modified
because of  our  work on understanding their  ideals   and
values)   while  learning to affirm those of their  ideals
and values which   are   not  fundamentally  in   conflict
with   our transcendent ideals and values.

     4.  We   need  to work until they volunteer that they
have   the    impression   that   we   understand    their
affirmations which differ greatly from our affirmations.

     5.  To  the extend to which we are able  to   clarify
our transcendent  ideals  and values so that we can affirm
as  many  as  possible of their  transcendent  ideals  and
values; to that extent we may hope that they will learn to
take us seriously in what we affirm.

     We  should  not  expect  others to  do  more  towards
bridging  th  gap between us,  than we are willing  to  do
towards bridging the gap between us.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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