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  %RULES HEALTHY GAME BOUNDS LIMITS ROLES SELF TRUE 910615

     Each   healthy  game  is defined by a set  of   rules
which specify the aspects of the game:

     1.  The goal(s) (if any) of the game.

     2.  How   many  participants  shall and/or may be  on
each  team,   and how many teams there shall and/or may be
in the game?

     3.  The  limitations (if any)    on the  roles  which
each participant shall and/or may play.

     4.  Limits  (if  any)    on  changes  in  roles  that
participants shall and/or may play.

     5.  Limits (if any)  on the "playing field"  in time,
space, and action.

     6.  How  the  rules of the game are to  be  enforced,
if  at all.

     7.  What   objects (if any)   the participants  shall
and/or may use.

     8.  In   what way(s)   the participants shall  and/or
may use the permitted and/or required object(s).

     9.  The limits (if any)   on the use of deception and
mis-representation within the game.

     10. The extent to which participants must and/or  may
play the role of being authentically themselves.

     11. The extent to which participants must and/or  may
play  the  role of being other than who they really are as
unique creatures.

     12.  The extent to which the rules may require people
to  be  in-authentic;    pretending to be other than   who
they really are as unique creatures.

     13.  How  long  participants must play in  the   game
and/or how long they must play particular roles.

     14.  How    thoroughly    each    role    of     each
particular  participant   in the game is specified by  the
rules of  the game.

     15.  In what ways the rules of the game shall  and/or
may be changed; and/or by what person or persons.

     16.  What  limits  apply  to the process of  changing
the rules of the game.

     17. How openly and clearly the rules of the game (and
the changes in the rules of the game) are specified.

     18.  Which  participants  (if any)  are told all  the
details  of   all  the  rules of  the  game;    and  which
participants  (if  any)     are  kept in  the  dark  about
defined aspects of  the game.

     19.  What are the required and/or the permitted forms
of  punishment  to be imposed upon participants who  break
the rules of the game?

     20.  How  decisions regarding whether the rules  have
been broken  are  to  be  arrived at:   by whom  and  with
what  permitted   appeals;    following  what   procedures
as  to openness and process.

     Addictions,     codependencies   and  collusions  are
games   of  which  the  following may often be  truthfully
said,   but rarely is. They are games in which:

     1.  Central   roles  are  played  by   personal   and
communal:

   a.  Dishonesty    b.  Confusion   c.  Coercion

     2.  Rules are not openly and/or well defined.

     3.  Rules change in ill defined and/or hidden ways.

     4.  Fixations upon fixes are pervasive.

     5.  Consequences of rules and actions are obscured.

     6.  Techniques are worshipped and celebrated.

     7.  Leadership is vaguely defined in confused ways.

     8.  Limits are not imposed, acknowledged or honored.

     9.  Power is not shared with justice or love.

    10.  The truth is rarely spoken as the truth.

    11.  Participants have no real freedoms.

     12. Uniqueness of participants is not valued/honored.

     13. Integrity of participants is not valued/honored.

     14. Transcendent values and ideals are not clarified.

     15.  Boundaries between participants are confused.

    16.  Participants play roles, not themselves.

     17.  Participants may not quit playing their games.

     18.  Participants deny they are playing their games.

     19. Respectability depends upon playing their games.

     20.  All of these truths are unknown and/or denied.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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