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   %CONFORMAL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW CONSEQUENCES GUILT 910616

     Conformal   people often want to know (or think  they
know)   what  they  should  do.    They  do  not  see  the
consequences   of  being compulsively concerned with  what
they should do, and what  they  should not do.   They want
to conform  and  are preoccupied with how to do so.

     Conformal   people  who do not succeed in finding out
what   they   should  do  (or  who  succeed   with   great
conviction   in  concluding exactly what they  should  do)
often    experience  guilt   associated  with  failing  to
conform  as well as  they think that they should  conform.
They are troubled by  the difference  between their  ideal
vision and their imperfect reality.

     When    conformal   people  are  encouraged   to   be
authentically  themselves,    it confuses them;   for that
advice does  not conform  to their conception of what kind
of   advice  they should accept.  They cannot  accept  the
advice   to   be  true  to  themselves    with    personal
integrity;  for  that  is  not conformal  advice,   and it
makes no sense to them as  they struggle inside the prison
of their conformal paradigm.

     Some conformal people want to conform, but to what?

     Other   conformal  people  know for sure  what   they
should conform to, but how?

     Yet   other   conformal people know how even   others
should conform;  and are ready,   willing and able to tell
people  how   to   conform.     Here  you  have  the   raw
materials  for addictions  and  codependencies;    and  in
extreme  cases dictatorships.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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