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%FIND WAY FREE ENJOY CONFLICT RESOLUTION TRUTH LIFE 910526

     Finding enjoyment, pleasure, happiness, etc.  in life
is  not a technical procedure in response to  a  technical
problem.

     People who go through technical procedures in efforts
to find enjoyment, pleasure, happiness, etc.   in life are
rarely genuinely successful in their efforts.

     To  enjoy  life's pleasures and happiness we must  be
set  free  to  do  so,   else there  may  be  little  joy,
enjoyment   or  pleasure   in   achieving  the   technical
conditions  which  we envision  as  being   essential   to
joy,    enjoyment   and pleasure.     Unless  we  are  set
free   to  enjoy  life's pleasures and happiness we may be
inhibited  from doing  so even  if the  desired  technical
conditions  are given to  us as gifts by others as acts of
love or of self-interest.

     We  may be inhibited from enjoying  life's  pleasures
and happiness due  to the paradigm within  which  we life,
the  attitudes  which we carry through  life,     and  the
mind-set    with     which     we     approach     people,
situations   and relationships.   The essence of enjoyment
is not found  in objective  situations,   relationships or
realities.      The  essence    of    enjoyment    entails
essential   reflexive relationships  within the context of
particular  objective situations.       To   ignore    the
essential    reflexive  relationships is to undermine  the
possibility of authentic enjoyment.

     Authentic  enjoyment  cannot  be   sustained   within
dishonest contexts;  e.g., within the context of collusive
games of mutual self deception which are played by addicts
and  codependents  within  their kinds  of  organizations,
societies,   professions  and families.   The  tension  of
trying  to  maintain the false appearances of  such  games
undermines  the possibility of authentic  enjoyment  which
requires  the freedom to relax.   People who  are  playing
collusive  games of mutual self deception are not free  to
relax  and enjoy life;  they must constantly be on  guard,
defensive.

     The way to authentic enjoyment is the way of conflict
resolution,   for through conflict resolution we may  find
the way to be free to relax.   Through conflict resolution
we  may transcend our games of mutual self deception which
undermine  our  possibility of relaxation  and  enjoyment.
The  way  is not easy.   The way involves taking risks  in
making  changes which appear dangerous to participants  in
collusive  games  of mutual self deception.   The way  may
appear  to lead to hell,  rather than to heave.    Yet  an
honest examination of those who are on the way will reveal
that it is the way to the truth and the life which can  be
enjoyed authentically.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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