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%SEX BODY PART PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP HONEST EXPRESS 910510

     Very often the consideration of sexual  relationships
is  reduced to the consideration of relationships  between
parts of bodies---without  adequate  attention being given
to   the  nature of the relationships between  the  minds,
souls   and spirits  of  the  people  whose   bodies   are
involved  in physical   relationships.     The  essence of
intimate relationships  cannot be described exclusively in
terms  of physical relationships between the parts of  the
bodies   of the people who are intimately involved.     To
regard sexual relationships  as relationships which can be
adequately described  in  terms  of physical relationships
between parts of  the  bodies of those involved;  leads to
the   degradation of sexuality,  and to  degrading  sexual
relationships.

     To attempt  to promote healthy  sexual  relationships
through codes of behavior regarding physical relationships
between  parts  of human bodies, is to  suggest  that such
physical    relationships   are  the  essence  of  healthy
sexuality;    and  so to degrade sexuality.  Codes   which
attempt   to  control  sexuality  by controlling  physical
relationships  lead to tragic misunderstandings  regarding
the nature of healthy sexuality.  Healthy sexuality cannot
be  achieved  through control of any kind, by any  kind of
person or agency.

     Healthy sexuality  has  to do with  open  and  honest
intimacy  which  is free of preoccupations with issues  of
control,   while demonstrating respect for each other  and
for balance in the sharing of power in true love. Attempts
to  be in control undermine the balance which is needed in
the  sharing  of power in true love.    Attempts to be  in
control undermine  openness,   honesty,  freedom, respect,
and balance;   and lead to corruption when and where power
is not shared in a balanced way which is lead by love.

     Healthy sexuality is promoted more by open and honest
dialogue,   than  by codes which prescribe what shall  and
what  shall  not  be the  physical  relationships  between
parts  of  bodies.   Healthy role models   of  integrative
intimate   relationships  do  more  to   promote   healthy
sexuality;  than do sophisticated   systems   of    rules,
regulations, laws, codes and taboos.

     To  promote meaningful and healthy sexuality we  need
to  focus   upon attitudes and  behaviors  which  liberate
people   to   be   open  and  honest  in  their   intimate
relationships, rather  than  seek  to  regulate  behaviors
of  parts  of physical bodies in physical relationships.

     There  is   a   place  for   the   consideration   of
relationships between parts of physical bodies when asking
what is healthy sexuality and what is unhealthy sexuality;
but  such considerations are not helpful when they exclude
the    consideration    of:       honesty,    reliability,
responsiveness,  openness,   vulnerability, defensiveness,
security and trust.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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