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%SEXUAL EMOTIONAL AFFECTIVE DISHONESTY DISINTEGRATE 910208

     In communities where honesty is not highly valued and
encouraged,  it is  likely  that  there  will  be   sexual
dishonesty  of  a  variety of forms where  people  pretend
that:

    1.  Sexual desire is not present when it is.

    2.  Sexual desire is present when it is not.

    3.  Sexuality can be controlled when it can not.

     4. Sexual behavior cannot be controlled when it can.

    5.  Emotions can be controlled when they cannot.

     6. Emotions have been controlled when they have not.

     7. Emotions have been experienced when they have not.

     8. Emotions have not been experienced when they have.

    9.  Interest is present when it is not.

    10. Interest is not present when it is.

     All such pretense is alienative and is evil.   To  be
healthy  we  need to find ways to minimize  occasions  for
such  pretense,   and to encourage  honesty  by  providing
secure  contexts    within  which  we  may  be  vulnerable
through  emotional  honesty  which promotes  personal  and
communal integrity.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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